Monday, December 31, 2012

Blessings

Over the last few days I have been reminded on how blessed I am to be married to my husband. He takes care of me and allows me to take my time. If I need to spend a day or two in bed like a zombie, he never makes me feel guilty or that I'm a bother to him. I woke up yesterday not being able to turn my head from the pain in my neck. Then today with the pain shooting from my back down my legs. I quit often feel like this, even more so when the weather is very cold. Woke up to snow in our yards(not a lot by any place but NM standards). But the cold is more than enough to cause me to ache. I often wonder how much more pain can one person take? I'm then reminded that God works all things for our good, for His purpose. Romans 8:28. You might ask me why would God allow one of his daughters to endure the amount of pain and suffering I have the past ten years, and I can only answer you with I don't know? What I do know is that God is going to use me and my pain and the hell I have been through in order to save millions of other woman from this heart ache. I will be very active on getting my story out there. Letting other woman know that they aren't crazy, and to hopefully get the mirena off the market. So although I have been down the last few days, I choose to see the positives/blessings in my situation instead of focusing on all the negative/bad. I may not be able to get out of bed, but I know that God is right here with me, holding me through the pain and tears and helping me to strive forward. And for that I am forever grateful. As I am for my husband. I was asked from another mirena suffer how have I been able to handle all the crap I have for 10 years and not loose it. For me it's my husband, who Jesus put into my life specifically to love me, protect me, and take care of me in sickness and health. I have put him through so much over the past ten years , that it amazes me that he had stood by me. Ive read of other woman who had their relationships become damaged beyond repair. I'm truly lucky I haven't completely experienced that. Not that I haven't had my share of people not believing me, cause I have. What I have had is support from my husband, my kids, my church, my friends and most of my family. And my faith, I have never been closet to The Lord, and feeling the hunger of his word and teachings. Hopefully this year will have much needed healing for me. Please pray for the right treatments/detoxes to make myself healthy again.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Waking in pain

I guess you know it's going to be a bad day of pain when you are dreaming, and in that dream you are not able to get out of bed. You pull yourself up with tons of effort. Climb out of bed and find you can hardly walk, you need crotches to help you take even a few steps. Then I wake up to find my dream isn't just a dream, it reality. I can't tell you how many times I have had this happen to me. So many I have lost count. What I can tell you is that it doesn't get easier. Each time it's still the same effort. The same amount of pain. Im lying on my back and I can feel the pain in my hip and lower back, even before I'm awake. I sleep on the very edge of my bed. I can barley reach my arm over to the side of the mattress. I have to use both arms to pull my self over to my right side. It then takes ALL of my energy and mind power to swing my legs over the side of my bed and then onto the ground. This has been only a small part of the nightmare I have been living the past ten years. My biggest fear is that I will never have my life completely back. I'm afraid that the poison has taken on a life of its own. I pray that the mirena will be taken of the market soon. No one should have to live this way. For those of you woman who are going through the same thing, and reading my blog for the very first time, know this....you are not alone, and no matter what anyone tells you it's not in your head. You are not going crazy. You and ONLY you know how your body should feel. And this is not normal. Keep fighting, keep faith and don't give up. And if your browsing sites and just happened to end up here on my blog, and you have the mirena, get that thing out know. That is the first step towards our healing. And if you have any questions I will help in the best way I can.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Blood test clotted

Well, my blood test I did last week clotted before it made it all the way to Pennsylvania for testing. So that means I have to do the test again. The good thing is that they are making a special test tube specifically for me(since I have factor 2/blood clotting disorder), the bad thing is it will take a week or two before it gets here. Then another week and half before it gets to them and tested. I'm so frustrated at myself. I should have mentioned my disorder to begin with. But I've taken a million blood tests over the past ten years and never had this happen before. But then again my tests have been done here in New Mexico. Since I had my mirena taken out last Thursday it will be out about two weeks when I do the test again. I have no doubt I will still have silicone in my system, but not as high with it in. I really wanted to have that information recorded for legal reasons. Praying that things will work out in my favor. Also worried about the cost, I was told it could be more since they have to make something special for me. Paying out of pocket is a little hard right now, but I know how important the test will be. I'll keep you updated when I have new information.
To top it all off I have been stuck in bed the last several hours. My stomach hurts so badly, and I'm so bloated I look at least seven months pregnant! My lower back and down my right leg is very achy today. I hope for a day when I can say all these things are behind me, but for now I continue to suffer in silence . Late last I also suffered a panic attack. I think I heard my husband come home(he gets home about midnight) and I woke up very frightened, my heart felt as though it would jump out my chest. Took my several minutes to realize where I was. I have had this happen before, waking up in a panic is terrifying. I'm looking forward to doing my detox, but have to hold off until the test is run!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Mirena removal

Today is my day! I got my mirena out. I'm FREE. The removal went very quick. The doctor told me that my symptom's are not common with the mirena.; Haven't we all heard that? I decided not to argue my case. I did the silicon poisoning test on December 11, I am waiting to here my results. I figure when I have that test in hand, I can plead my case to all these doctor's. She did wish me the best, and hoped I start to feel better soon. Then said if I still have all my symptom's a few months from now that I can come back and get anothe iud put in. HECK NO! I will never again place a foreign object in my body. That is also the reson I will not do the essure. Nope, either myself or my husband will have surgery in the near future.
 I can tell you two difference already. For the past several days my fatigue, pain in my hips and lower back have been full force. And I had those annoying black spots in my left vision. After my appointment my husband and I  went straight to target, and he asked me do you feel different yet? I realized then that I didn't see the black spots! They were there the whole time I was talking to the doctor. And now they are gone, coincidence, I don't think so! On our way home from target I realized that I have more energy than I have had in a long time. My eye's don't feel extremely heavy! All that within an hour of having this evil device removed. Yeah!!! I can't wait to see how I feel weeks or months from now. Next week I will get my results from my blood test back, and I will start my detox.
I will continue to be completely honest with you all, in hopes of reaching woman who are going through what I have. I have noted other side effects this last week. Such as I have been having anxiety attacks, acne that has never gone away, depression after Isaiah was born(which I thought was postpartum, but that is when I had the first iud inserted so I now believe it was the mirena), craving sweets (before kids I didn't even hardly drink soda, now I can't live without it), and not being able to loose weight despite working out and dieting.
 I had to stop working out about a year ago, I just couldn't do it, my back and hip pain would cause me to be stuck in bed for days. Then I started taking lyrica. After almost a year I stop taking that, and I gained sooooo much weight.  I hate to say it, my weight is the highest it has ever been without being pregnant. I am currently at 194lbs. The only reason I am telling you all this is so together we can see the changes having the iud removed will effect my weight. I am going to start off slow, probably bike riding. I hope I can get down to a comfortable size.
Thank you all for all the encouragement and prayers. Please continue to tell my story to others. I know how important my faith has been for me. I have never felt closer to God. It's true that your faith can grow so much during these type of trials. I am completely thankful that God has showed me a way to get through the darkness. He has given me the best man to stand by my side, "in sickness and in health" and compassionate sisters in Christ (You ladies know who you are). And He planted me and my family in a church with a church family that has been our biggest support system. There aren't enough words to show my gratitude. Thank you all from the depth's of my heart. God Bless You!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

More proof

http://www.lightparty.com/Health/SiliconePoison.ht
Here is another article on silicon poisoning.  This article is talking about breast implants, but remeber silicone is what mirena is made of as well. Please try and read it all. there is a ton of information.

To me the thing that stood out the most, probably because since I was little I had issue's with cockroaches, I am terrified of them. I know this is a stupid fear, especially with all that I am going through now. Was this statement...."Silicone is a biologically active and toxicsubstance.
The basic gel implant fillerñDC 360 silicone fluidñwas once considered worth following upfor development by Dow Corning scientists as a potent insecticide, one of the few known substances capable of killing cockroaches."

Wow. Really? And yet there are people willingly allowing this substance to be put into our bodies. Under the notion that it is the BEST thing ever. How is that? Can anyone explain that to me.  Can I say that ever day my hatred towards bayer and the mirena is increasing? How in the world have I gotten myself into this? Please ladies, do your research. If you were thinking that mirena is the birth control for you....please don't get it. And if you have the mirena, take it  from someone who has suffered most of her adult life with all of these mirena side effects, ITS NOT WORTH IT. Get that thing out of you as soon as possible.

Now is here is a video about mirena and autoimmune disorders, and what our bodies are going through having this mirena in us. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJftLXBuWYM
Again ladies.....please, please, stay away from this horrible birth control. The doctor's are lying to you. It's not going to make your busy life easier. It is going to make it a living hell. Even woman who had no side effects for the whole five years with it, are having problem's after it is removed. I think video pretty much explains why.

Last link for today I promise. Here is a petition to the US food and drug administration. In this paragraph they are stating the symptom's patients are told about, then the symptom's the doctors know about that most our chossing to tell us about, and lastly the symptom's that are not being recorded.  http://www.change.org/petitions/bayer-tell-women-the-truth-about-mirena-iud-birth-control?utm_campaign=share_button_action_box&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition&utm_term=35649128
"The patient information for the device contains warnings for the following side effects ONLY:
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, infection, embedment, perforation, discomfort during placement, expulsion, missed menstrual periods, changes in bleeding, ovarian cysts.
This is the only "adverse reaction" information the patient will typically receive.
 The following adverse reactions appear ONLY on the physician information for the Mirena (perthe official physician information):
abdominal/pelvic pain, vaginal discharge, nausea, headache, nervousness, vulvovaginitis, dysmerorrhea (cramps), back pain, weight increase, breast pain/tenderness, acne, decreased libido, depressed mood, cervicitis (vaginal infection), hypertension, migraine, vomiting, anemia, dyspareunia (painful intercourse), alopecia (hair loss), eczema, pruritus (itchiness), rash, urticaria (hives), abdominal distension, altered mood, hirsutism (abnormal hair growth), edema (swelling).
Although doctors are instructed to share this information with the patient, they often do not. In many cases, even when specifically asked, doctors are denying a possible link between Mirena and these symptoms. Patients are consistently told there are "no side effects," and that the synthetic hormone (levonorgestrel) contained in the mirena cannot be harmful because the hormone release is localized to the uterus.
In addition, Mirena users are reporting additional common side effects that are not documented in any of the Mirena information provided by the manufacturer.
These include, but are not limited to:
anxiety, mental fog, double-vision, tinnitus, appetite increase, constipation, flatulence, polyuria (frequent urination),chest pain/heart palpitations, shortness of breath, bronchitis, fatigue/drowsiness, fainting, loss of nerve sensation/tingling in extremities, tremor, weight loss, insomnia, cold intolerance, thyroid dysfunction, nonpuerperal lactation."

Please for me....sign this petition. I can't just sit around doing nothing about this. I cant bare the thought of even one more woman to be put into this hell. I wouldn't wish the pain I have been through on my worst enemy.

 

 



Friday, December 7, 2012

Mirena video

This video is so touching to me. It's like the words and thoughts were taken out of my head. I cried through the whole video. I am grateful that I am finding these small blessings on the internet. It helps to know that I am not alone. At the same time it saddens me that there are so many of us. Please watch. As always your comments, encouragement, bible verses, are prayers would be greatly appreciated.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDl0VSFcVfg&feature=share

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Mirena and Norplant

I am so pissed! How can the makers of Mirena be so irresponsible. Knowingly implant the same medication into million's of woman that was  banned from the US because of all the significant side effects and even DEATH! I thought that doctor's and pharmaceutical companies were here to help people. Not be the reason that I have been so sick the last 10 years.

Do you know what it's like to write letter's to your loved ones because you think your dying, and hope that they find where you have hidden them once your gone? Or to have many day's where you physically couldn't get out of bed.  Where you couldn't care for your children? Not being able to help them get ready, brush there hair, feed them, or be the loving nurturing mother God made you to be? If I was your wife, sister, daughter and you had to stand by watching my body slowly shut down, then would you take this thing off the market! These are some of my questions I would like to ask the makers of mirena.
  I will forever carry the guilt of not being a good mom around with me for the rest of my life. There are no words I can say to my kids to make up for lost time, and that I'm so sorry they had to grow up way to early. Luckily I have a beautiful wonderful daughter who was 9 years old when I had her baby sister. And even though she has had her own heath battles with bipolar disorder, she has been willingly taken care of her siblings. Making them dinner, giving them baths, and getting them put to bed. And to take care of her sick mom who can't get out of bed. With out Krista's,and  Jose's help and the support and prayers from family and friends, I don't know where I would be today. .

I think I am completely going to be a emotional basket case for several weeks.So if you happen to see me and I just break down in tears you know why.  The more information I find out, the more my heart sinks. Now more than ever I want this THING out of me. I'm almost half tempted to pull the damn thing out myself. But I won't. For two reasons, the first being that I am going to get a silicone poisoning test done before it is removed. I want to be armed with the truth to make Bayer listen to all of our voices. The second being that I am scared. I have also read the horror stories of the iud needing to be surgically removed. I pray to God that I get spared from further attaches of this evil device.

I really could use some encouraging words and scripture's about now. Please post anything positive that you might be able to tell me. I'm so sorry that their are so many of us suffering this way.

Please read this article and spread the truth to family and friends. http://www.virginiahopkinstestkits.com/mirenareport.html